Should You Say "I Do" to Spouse #2?
Want to get remarried? Thinking about taking the plunge a second time? Ask yourself, are you ready to commit to marriage and being there for your spouse's kids? According to Mark Banschick, author of The Intelligent Divorce Book series, 67% of second marriages end in divorce. That's right - divorce rates for second marriages are higher than first marriages. With higher incomes, more life experience and finding a work/life balance, you probably thought the second time around would be easier, right? Think again! Step-family relationships are complicated and bring with them their own set of challenges.
BLENDED FAMILY TRANSITIONS TAKE TIME
Blended families rarely blend evenly. Rather, they form secret alliances and form attachments at weird angles. Sometimes, blood is thicker than water. Step-families also upset birth order constellations. Only children become older or younger step-siblings or they may now have a step-sibling the same age. Blended families often move to new parts of town, leaving behind best friends, neighborhoods, baseball teams and school districts. Successful transitioning to a blended family takes, on average, 3-5 years. Some families never fully make the transition.
Pre-remarriage family subsets have a shared history of inside jokes, special stories and traditions. It can be hard to give up old transitions or add new ones to the mix. This is especially true during holiday traditions, cooking family recipes and creating a "new normal." Step-family relationships can be an added bonus, though they still come with hot topics and pressure points. Are you really ready for all of that and is this the person that will stand by your side as you navigate these challenges?
